So, I just set a fresh template for the blog. Well, that's not something utterly prominent to talk about, no?
Anyway, about a few days ago I messaged my brothers and sisters on the same question:
"Salam. I think I had made a huge mistake taking the scholarship. Do you think I can tell our parents about this? I just realized I am not meant to be a doctor... A part of me is very sure that I will eventually regret this decision until the end of my life."
Although, the desire to pack my things and get out from the hostel right away still exists, but I would like to say thank you so much to my siblings who sort of lifted my enormous burden off me. The dilemma that I was suffering is extremely excruciating and my tears never ran through my cheeks ever-so-quickly as I whole-heartedly believe, I was meant to fail and become a loser, regardless of everything I have done juggling with my studies.
And thank you to to my senior, who all of a sudden pop-up into the scene and gave me and my friends a handful of tips on how to survive living in Russia.
So, for the remaining 2 months of foundation here I have decided to study really hard. I might not have that driving force to keep me awake until 3am like others, but I will commit, by hook or by crook. After this, no more taking things lightly and peaking at my friend's test papers like before.
Yes, I'll be honest to myself by using my very own effort. I know that I would fail , which is no different from the current condition I am in, but if I applied that fatal method of self-relying at least I won't be too suicidal if I were to fail in any tests, simply because I know I deserve that score and mark. I won't be like anyone else who would smile so broadly over something that is not even purely done by himself or herself.
Hell no.
Yes, I'll be honest to myself by using my very own effort. I know that I would fail , which is no different from the current condition I am in, but if I applied that fatal method of self-relying at least I won't be too suicidal if I were to fail in any tests, simply because I know I deserve that score and mark. I won't be like anyone else who would smile so broadly over something that is not even purely done by himself or herself.
Hell no.
